My Identity

“Those Americans made fun of me every chance they got. They were cruel because I couldn’t speak English.” Those were the words I heard from my father’s lips one night after he got home from work. We were at the dinner table and he had just narrated a story about the first time he attempted to order food at a McDonald’s in the United States. He had only left El Salvador a few months earlier because of the violent revolution that was taking place. “I ordered a meal at the drive through window and then decided to ask for ketchup. I couldn’t pronounce the word very well, so it sounded more like “katsap”. The guy asking for my order yelled “what?!” every time I tried to say it more clearly and finally ended up cursing at me.” You could tell that even though it had happened years earlier, it still brought back feelings of pain and resentment in my father.

When you’re 10 years old and you hear your father speak these words, something inside of you changes. In my case his story translated to: “You’re different. Your family is different, your culture is different, and everything about you is not the norm.” I grew up feeling inferior in a lot of ways. I felt that somehow being Latina meant that I was dumber than everyone else. My grades didn’t reflect this at all, but it was still the way I felt when I was with other people from other ethnic backgrounds, especially Caucasians. In high school I was in the gifted and talented classes when it came to literature and writing. At times I was the only Latina in those classes, which made me feel even more awkward. I was later accepted at the University of Maryland College Park, which was huge for my family and friends. I knew I was talented, but it was hard to get past my insecurities.

Little by little, as my relationship with the Lord grew, I began to understand that my identity had to be based on more than certain ethnic characteristics. I had to get past the negative experiences my father had faced, past the fact that I was Latina, and see myself simply as a creature of God. One day I read Genesis 9:6b that says, “…For in the image of God has God made man.” (NIV) This meant that my nature was more like my heavenly Father’s, than my earthly father’s. What a revelation this was!

As I thought more about this subject, I decided to search for the definition of the word identity. Webster’s Dictionary defines identity as the “sameness of essential or generic character in different instances”. If we think about it, wherever we go, we are the same. Wherever we go we carry our Father’s nature. Every situation that we experience, we are creative and rational like He is, relational, emotional and volitional. Each of these God characteristics plays out in some way throughout all of our life circumstances. We cannot help but be like our God.

To know and understand this is reassuring to me. The more I comprehend it, the more confident I feel. I feel that I have what it takes within me to achieve and accomplish whatever He is calling me to do. I am equipped because of my godly nature to do above and beyond what I’ve dreamed. My identity is not based on ethnicity, family, culture or certain preferences anymore, it is based on my Creator: Jesus Christ. The more I know Him through His Word, the more I know who I am and my purpose on the earth.

Ministry-Not Meant to be Done Alone

Imagine a young couple, just married, excited about life, with lots of dreams and high expectations. They have few worries in life and are optimistic of what their future holds. They are madly in love and truly believe that life will be perfect just because they love one another. Have you seen these types of newlyweds? That was my husband and I five years ago almost to this date. We had only been married for four months when we got a call with a major ministry offer. We were offered to lead a worship institute for young adults in our area. We prayed and ask the Lord for guidance and shortly after decided to take the dive and go into full time ministry. We were excited!

We gave our entire life to the ministry. The ministry became our baby. We gave it our hearts, our time, and all our energy. We were in our element: teaching, leading, and inspiring young people to pursue God relentlessly. Several years passed and we were still on cloud nine, until…adversity hit. We faced major challenges in our ministry that very few couples have to face at such a young age. Unfortunately at that time the relationship with our pastor was distant and therefore we had no one to talk to except for a few friends our own age. We were lost, confused and lonely. According to my husband and I, we had done everything right…or so we had thought.

We learned a very important lesson the hard way: Ministry is not to be done alone. No matter how much energy, passion or innovative ideas you may have, it is impossible for it to be done by yourself. Ministry is a war zone. It is a place where you fight the enemy head on and pour your heart, sweat and tears into other people. It requires much self sacrifice and therefore is not designed be accomplished single-handedly. The importance of having leaders and mentors in your life is essential. It is essential because you need someone pouring into you as much as you pour yourself into others. That is what the apostle Paul did for Timothy:

“… Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord. He will remind you of how I follow Christ Jesus, just as I teach in all the churches wherever I go.” (I Corinthians 4:17) Paul mentored Timothy and taught him to follow Christ and therefore Timothy’s spiritual walk and ministry thrived because he was able to pour into others what Paul had poured into him.

Currently, my husband and I are taking a short hiatus from ministry. We were led by the Lord to do this in order to rest and prepare for whatever He has planned for us next. We made major decisions that led us to find amazing mentors who have enriched our lives like no one. I’d like to encourage you to do the same. Pray that the Lord will lead you to find your “Paul”. You’ll never be the same, your ministry will rise to the next level, and your perspective of God will be transformed. You will not only survive in ministry, but you will thrive in it, as Timothy did. All of this will happen, as long as you and I understand that ministry was never meant to be done alone.